HR Manager: Shannon, there’s something that I’ve got to bring to your attention. I don’t know if you realize it or not, but the only person you ever seem to complain about is Suzie. You typically open your conversation by saying, “Would you mind if I told you something that’s none of my business?” and then you launch into some form of criticism about Suzie—how she’s not completing her work on time, is wandering away from her desk, is being too social, or is otherwise performing at an unacceptable level.
From now on, if you ask me that question, the answer will be “no.” I won’t want to hear your tips about her problematic performance. Frankly, I don’t need you telling me how to manage my relationships with other staff members, and you and Suzie do separate jobs and hold different responsibilities in the group, so I see no need for your censure of her work or work habits.
And I have another piece of advice for you, Shannon: You need to come to terms with and get over the anger and resentment that you harbor toward her. I don’t know if you feel threatened by her for some reason or why she seems to get under your skin, but it’s obvious to me as an outsider, even if you aren’t aware of it. Why else would you only find fault with one person over and over again when I, as her supervisor, don’t find those faults?
I’m serious here: If you don’t find a way to get over your resentment, it will eat you up inside, and it may result in undoing your career here at our company. Please don’t put me in a position to have to have this type of discussion with you a second time, Shannon, because if we do, my response will be in a written rather than a verbal format. Am I clear?
Employee: Yes.
HR Manager: Good. Thank you very much.