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Believe in Your Dang Self

Executive Summary

Having spent her career telling women she believes in them and their dreams, Rachel Hollis points out that it’s ultimately not what she believes that matters—it’s whether or not they believe in themselves.

  • Insecurity and fear can easily fool even the most talented person into thinking that who they think they were made to be is little more than a pipe dream.
  • You can’t rely on other people to believe in you if you want to fulfill your purpose, you have to unapologetically believe in yourself!
  • Refusing to quit on your dreams no matter how many times you face defeat is only possible if you believe your life is worth fighting for.

I’m pretty stinking fired up at this point. I almost went full-on bad language as I titled this last part, just so you’d know I was really and truly in beast mode on your behalf. But then I realized something: you have to already know that.

If you don’t realize that I am so on fire for you and your dreams and what you’re going to accomplish in life, then we must just not know each other well enough yet. I’ve devoted two books to the idea that you are in control of your life and capable of anything you set your heart and mind to. I’ve devoted my career and my company and therefore my life to creating content that reinforces that for you again and again. I believe in you. I believe in you so hard.

I know that for many of you there aren’t supportive family members or friends who will encourage you along this journey toward your goals, so please know, first and foremost, there’s an enthusiastic mom of four living somewhere on a ranch in Texas that cannot wait to see what you do next!

FIGHTING TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Here’s the second thing that you need to know— and why I stopped myself from adding cuss words to the title— it doesn’t matter if I believe in you. It doesn’t matter if I’m fired up on your behalf. I can write a thousand books and post a million inspiring Instagram stories, and none of it matters if you don’t believe in yourself. I’m not going to be there tomorrow to tell you to get out of bed. I’m not going to be there next week when your shift gets cut at work and you don’t know how you’re going to make rent. I’m not going to be there when your family makes fun of you for trying to lose weight. I’m not going to be there when you fall off the wagon. I’m not going to be there when the shit hits the fan. I’m not going to be there when you quit on yourself. I’m not going to be there when you have to fight your way back. I’m not going to be there in your life dealing with your stuff. You’re going to be there every single day, so you better believe your life is worth fighting for! It’s as simple and as hard as that.

It means that you have to push through when you don’t want to. It means that you have to find a way to not go binge eat. It means that you have to have a hard conversation with your sister about the way you’re feeling. It means that you need to talk to your spouse about how you can have a stronger marriage. It means that you’re going to have to do a lot of things that make you uncomfortable. It means that you’re going to have to parent your kids instead of giving them what they want in order to keep the peace. It means that you’re going to have to lead your team with the wisdom and determination of a great coach instead of the blind acceptance of a great cheerleader. It means that you’re going to have to be your own coach as well as your own hype squad. It means that you’re going to have to lead yourself well. It means that you’re going to have to treat yourself with kindness but challenge yourself to become better!

DESTINED FOR MORE

There are a lot of things that you’re going to have to do. None of them are easy, but all of them are simple. The easiest way, the fastest way, to get where you want to go is to not quit on yourself. When you’re standing at the start of a long race, it feels very overwhelming. The idea of making it all the way to the finish line— without walking away this time— feels challenging. But it’s possible, if you believe in yourself! You’ve heard that quote about doubt, right? Doubt will kill more dreams than failure ever will. But belief in yourself will give you the strength to get back up again and again. You’ve got to take it one single day at a time.

If an entire day feels too overwhelming, I’m going to ask you to take it an hour at a time and to keep reminding yourself: This is who I am. Remember how we visualized the very best version of yourself, your dream version of who you are? This is who you are on the inside. Your soul has always known who you are. That’s why it keeps tugging at your heart, begging you to listen. That’s where your what if is coming from. That’s what makes you wonder about what else is possible. That’s what makes you sad when you don’t get there, because you know, deep down in your belly, that a better version of you— a better version of this life— is waiting on the other side of that what if. The real you is destined for something more . . . your version of more. This is who you were made to be, and the first step to making that vision a reality is to stop apologizing for having the dream in the first place.

Like Lady Gaga says, baby, you were born this way. It’s not your job to make yourself fit into anyone else’s ideal. It’s your job to start believing in who you are and what you’re capable of. It’s time to be yourself, unapologetically, and to show the world what happens when a woman challenges herself for greatness. It’s time to stop apologizing for who you are. It’s time to become who you were made to be.

Excerpted with permission from Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals by Rachel Hollis, copyright Rachel Hollis.

Bring It Home

Having someone in our corner can seem to make all the difference. But what happens when they go home, or get busy, or fall off the wagon with their “cheerleader” duties? Who’s left standing to remind us of who we really are?

Comment below with the first step you can take to believe in yourself and become who you were made to be. Who knows, maybe bravely sharing your first step will inspire someone else to take theirs!

Rachel Hollis

Rachel Hollis is a #1 New York Times best-selling author of Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing, a TV personality, top motivational speaker, top podcast host, CCO of the company she founded, and mother of four.

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