FIGHTING TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Here’s the second thing that you need to know— and why I stopped myself from adding cuss words to the title— it doesn’t matter if I believe in you. It doesn’t matter if I’m fired up on your behalf. I can write a thousand books and post a million inspiring Instagram stories, and none of it matters if you don’t believe in yourself. I’m not going to be there tomorrow to tell you to get out of bed. I’m not going to be there next week when your shift gets cut at work and you don’t know how you’re going to make rent. I’m not going to be there when your family makes fun of you for trying to lose weight. I’m not going to be there when you fall off the wagon. I’m not going to be there when the shit hits the fan. I’m not going to be there when you quit on yourself. I’m not going to be there when you have to fight your way back. I’m not going to be there in your life dealing with your stuff. You’re going to be there every single day, so you better believe your life is worth fighting for! It’s as simple and as hard as that.
It means that you have to push through when you don’t want to. It means that you have to find a way to not go binge eat. It means that you have to have a hard conversation with your sister about the way you’re feeling. It means that you need to talk to your spouse about how you can have a stronger marriage. It means that you’re going to have to do a lot of things that make you uncomfortable. It means that you’re going to have to parent your kids instead of giving them what they want in order to keep the peace. It means that you’re going to have to lead your team with the wisdom and determination of a great coach instead of the blind acceptance of a great cheerleader. It means that you’re going to have to be your own coach as well as your own hype squad. It means that you’re going to have to lead yourself well. It means that you’re going to have to treat yourself with kindness but challenge yourself to become better!
DESTINED FOR MORE
There are a lot of things that you’re going to have to do. None of them are easy, but all of them are simple. The easiest way, the fastest way, to get where you want to go is to not quit on yourself. When you’re standing at the start of a long race, it feels very overwhelming. The idea of making it all the way to the finish line— without walking away this time— feels challenging. But it’s possible, if you believe in yourself! You’ve heard that quote about doubt, right? Doubt will kill more dreams than failure ever will. But belief in yourself will give you the strength to get back up again and again. You’ve got to take it one single day at a time.
If an entire day feels too overwhelming, I’m going to ask you to take it an hour at a time and to keep reminding yourself: This is who I am. Remember how we visualized the very best version of yourself, your dream version of who you are? This is who you are on the inside. Your soul has always known who you are. That’s why it keeps tugging at your heart, begging you to listen. That’s where your what if is coming from. That’s what makes you wonder about what else is possible. That’s what makes you sad when you don’t get there, because you know, deep down in your belly, that a better version of you— a better version of this life— is waiting on the other side of that what if. The real you is destined for something more . . . your version of more. This is who you were made to be, and the first step to making that vision a reality is to stop apologizing for having the dream in the first place.
Like Lady Gaga says, baby, you were born this way. It’s not your job to make yourself fit into anyone else’s ideal. It’s your job to start believing in who you are and what you’re capable of. It’s time to be yourself, unapologetically, and to show the world what happens when a woman challenges herself for greatness. It’s time to stop apologizing for who you are. It’s time to become who you were made to be.
Excerpted with permission from Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals by Rachel Hollis, copyright Rachel Hollis.