Since the beginning of time, limits have existed. Limits keep people alive, and our brains are wired for survival. So limits are naturally going to exist in these brains of ours. The challenge, when we’re talking about limiting beliefs, is to know which of the things we believe are really there for survival and which are manufactured beliefs that don’t help us at all. If we don’t do the work to ask the questions, we’ll never know, and we’ll just keep believing all of them absolutely to keep us safe, to keep us alive. But we can do better than that.
Start now by identifying what it is you believe, which of those beliefs serve you, and which create unnecessary restraint that holds you captive, keeping you from where you want to go, keeping you from growth and ultimately fulfillment.
- Step 1: deliberately work to know what you believe and why you believe it.
- Step 2: separate what you believe into things to keep believing and things to drop. If it doesn’t serve you and the ones you love, let it drop, or move to step three and modify it.
- Step 3: actively make changes to what you believe in the areas that hold you back. Turn the limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs. The way you position that hard thing you went through is everything.
The decision falls to you and you alone to believe in the truth that you are here for a reason, that you matter, and that the outside measures are nothing compared to your belief in yourself, the belief of your being enough. You have to know with outright certainty your importance in this world, regardless of what your job is, how you look, or what stories you’re telling yourself.
Don’t let your limiting beliefs sell a version of your worthiness that underestimates what’s possible for your life or chains you to a story that keeps you playing it safe, small, or not at all. Know that you are enough today and every day, that you are capable and in control of what limits you’ll adhere to, and use that knowledge to propel yourself forward in a way that maximizes your potential. You owe it not only to yourself but to those who matter to you most.
3 Ways I Overcome My Limiting Beliefs
- I get back to the source of my truth on days I have a harder time believing it. Are there days when I have insecurity about being enough? Of course. It’s those days when I return to my faith, my wife, my kids, the feedback from my mentors, and the network who’s been positively affected by my work. You have an array of similar relationships and sources of truth that remind you how worthy you are of your dreams and how capable you are of achieving them. Tap into those resources on the days when it gets harder to remember (trust me, those days will pop up) so you can maintain the momentum you’ll need to build on that platform and achieve the impact you know you’re capable of.
- I made an actual list of the lies I believed that kept getting in my way. To map where I wanted to go with my life, I had to start by identifying the specific things that might keep me from reaching my destination. It’s an exercise that’s worked so well that, at our RISE conference, my keynote is consistently on the topic of “What’s going to get in your way.” We encourage the audience to develop their plan for where they want to take their lives, starting with what is likely to keep them from attaining their goals. It helps them build a plan considering what they’ll need to navigate around. Make your list, and what you need to do to reframe the lies you believe to keep you out of your own way.
- I got a fresh perspective. Have you ever been on a trip and had the epiphany that the things you thought were unchangeable or that gave you anxiety didn’t exist in this parallel universe? On a few occasions, a trip for work landed me in another country and I realized that the people there have a totally different perspective on the things I might have determined I just needed to live with, and this realization affected me so much that it completely changed the way I thought about those things. If you aren’t in the habit of disrupting your perspective for the benefit of seeing life through someone else’s lens, put it on the calendar and force yourself outside your normal routine. Your mind will be blown.
I have had many limiting beliefs. But the biggest one for me, was centered around what marriage looked like. The model I had was my parents, not a healthy loving relationship. I thought this was how it was supposed to be. So I spent 12 miserable years with a man I didn’t really love. We divorced and I realized this was not what marriage had to look like. Now I have a wonderful marriage with the man I deserve.
Thank you for your words that make so much sense!! Very Helpful Sense!!!